Discernment Questions
Here we provide helpful answers to some questions about discernment and our monastic life and formation.
How do I know if I have a monastic vocation?
What may start as an unsettling idea becomes a recurring thought. The man with a religious vocation increasingly finds that there is a restlessness of spirit that only the things of God seem to fill. The idea of a romantic relationship may be attractive, but there is the question of whether or not God has something more in mind. A few question to consider include:
Are you happy, yet find that deep within you there is an unfulfilled longing? With all that you have, is there a sense that it is not enough?
Do you feel drawn to frequent attendance at Mass and more prayer than your present schedule permits?
Do you enjoy sharing your faith with others, most especially those who are searching for God?
When you first considered monastic life, did the idea catch you off-guard, like someone who has been picked out of a crowd and responds, "Who, me?"
Do you find that you possess a great love for the Church and her teachings?
When you have contact with priests and religious, is there a sense of connection, an attraction to the joy and conviction they possess?
What can I do to discern God's call more
deeply?
The best answer to this question is to pray, pray, and pray
some more! God speaks to us in the silence of our hearts. We
can look for extraordinary signs, but God works best with our
cooperation in prayer and honest investigation. The closer you
move toward the light, the easier it will be to see the road.
Make a plan for your spiritual life and include the following:
Examine your conscience daily and seek to know yourself better in the light of God's love and mercy.
If you have access to a good spiritual director who understands the religious life and has the wisdom to guide you, then let such help benefit you.
Attend Mass frequently
If you have a nearby church that reserves the Blessed Sacrament, then set aside some time in Christ's presence there. If not, try to visit another church when possible and spend some time in silent prayer before the Blessed Sacrament.
Read Scripture daily and the classics of the spiritual life- learn about the various religious orders in the Church and their histories.
Participate in retreats, preferably at monasteries or convents. Much can be learned from such exposure and attention to your spiritual life.
What are some of the basic requirements for acceptance into this community?
Single, debt-free, and without any familial responsibility that would prevent you from entering
A confirmed Episcopalian (or confirmed member of another Anglican church within the Anglican Communion)
Sufficient health- a full physical exam is required as a part of our application process
Emotional health and wholeness- a psychological exam is also a part of our application process
The ability to live happily within community
Sufficient age and maturity- a bit of "life experience" is very helpful.
A willingness and ability to be formed- you do not come to community to demand changes or exceptions, or to instruct the community on your ideas and preferences, rather, you come and humbly embrace the ideas and customs of the community which are already present- they will form you into a good and faithful monk.
A proper motive- monastic life is not an escape nor an easy, leisurely life of repose!
What is the best age to enter?
The best age to enter is when God calls. The greatest impetus come when God's grace makes us "ready". For some this call comes in their twenties, for others it comes much later. Whatever the case, God's call is mysterious. What is most important is deep self-knowledge. If a man knows himself and has prayerfully considered monastic life and its essentials, he may possess a sincere and well-informed desire- this is God's gift.
I find that I am attracted to both monastic life and marriage. Does the fact that I would love to be in a committed, loving relationship and have a family mean that I don't have a religious vocation?
No, this simply means that you are normal! Some of the same qualities needed to be a good husband and father are needed to be a good monk. We love with the same capacity, though the expressions differ. As monks, we know Christ as our Beloved and express our intimacy with Him in a life of prayer. It is a sacrificial love that is life-giving and fulfilling.
What about dating and discernment?
Because the call to monastic life is an invitation to freely follow Christ in the celibate state, dating in the midst of discernment often only throws shadows on how to proceed. The call to the monastic life, like that of marriage, is a radical call to surrender oneself wholly to the other. In the case of monastic life, this surrender is to Christ alone in the totality of our self-gift. Because all of our loves are ordered in and through Christ, we can lose nothing by setting dating aside for a time to allow Christ to speak to our hearts and direct the love He has first given to us.
What is the basic time frame for formation and the various steps along the way?
The first step is inquiring, thus, the candidate is known as an Inquirer. At this stage one make initial contact with the community and begins a dialogue with the vocation director about himself and what he perceives might be a call to the monastic life. At this stage an initial visit of 3-5 days will be an appropriate next step in discovering whether life in this particular community is a possibility.
If the Inquirer's interest in the community continues and deepens to the point of serious consideration toward application, he will be invited to come back to the monastery for an Aspirant's visit of 2 weeks or more. This is a time for the candidate to live among us and participate fully in our life for a longer period of time. If all goes well and he and the community feel that there is a "good fit", then he will be allowed to apply for entrance to try his vocation.
The first stage of formation is the Postulancy, which lasts 6 months. The postulant lives and works in the community and begins to study the Customary, Constitutions and the basics of monastic life and practice. At the successful completion of this period, he may be invited to advance to the Novitiate where he will be clothed in the habit and given a new name in religion. The novitiate lasts one full year and is a more intense time of study and formation. At the conclusion of the novitiate year, the novice may petition to make his first profession of vows. This first stage of profession is called the Juniorate and lasts a minimum of 3 years. The final step is the Solemn Profession where the monk vows to live the monastic life in this monastery for the rest of his life.
What is the relationship with your family after entering the monastery? Can you visit with them?
Of course! As a monk grows nearer to Christ in his days of formation, his love for his family deepens. We have a great debt of gratitude for our families since from them we have been given life, love and the gift of our faith. With time and the power of God's grace our relationships actually grow stronger. The hundredfold promised to those who leave everything to follow Christ also flows into our families.
At the beginning of formation, when a break with one's former life is being accomplished, visits with family are scheduled at various points: at the end of the Postulancy, the postulant is given a week to go home and visit family before being clothed in the habit and entering the Novitiate. Of course, correspondence with family via post or e-mail is not only allowed, but encouraged. During the Novitiate year, the novice does not leave the monastery to go home, unless in cases of grave emergency. Professed monks receive two weeks of "vacation time" each year that they may use to visit family and friends, either in two consecutive weeks, or broken up over the year.
What about the sacrifice of giving up so many of the good things of the world?
The grace of a religious vocation is to respond to God's call to leave all things to follow Christ (Matthew 19:21). This entails sacrifice and change. Yet this sacrifice, joined with Christ, brings great joy. The call to the monastic life is an invitation to look beyond the things of the world in all of their goodness, in favor of the ultimate realities of heaven. Through the Benedictine vow of conversatio morum, which includes the traditional evangelical counsels of chastity and poverty, Christ detaches us from possessions , and frees us for single-hearted devotion to Him. Through the vow of obedience, He conforms our wills totally to His; through the vow of stability He teaches us to "stick with it" even when the going gets rough.